Dancing for the Lord

2008-09-29T12:51:00.002+08:00

moved to http://angel-lush.livejournal.com

2008-08-18T17:47:00.002+08:00

Been so long since I last typed a long post. There were so many things happened since.

I really would like to change myself. To be more transparent and do things with all my heart. Not to fake a smile when things are not right. Where is the patience that I used to have? And why do I keep forgetting to love others?

Sometimes I just wanna run away from the things I am facing now and pray hard that it will go off and pray that the trials will be a short one. Truely it is definitely not easy and I know that at this period of time, even more I gotta depend on His strength.

Saying is easy, acting upon what you've said is difficult.

Why is it easier to encourage people than to encourage yourself?

Where is the fire that I used to have?

Are His words truely in my heart ALL the times?

I need to change, I need Him to help me to change.

Help me Lord.

2008-08-14T14:17:00.001+08:00

A thousand and one thoughts

2008-07-10T17:48:00.004+08:00

So fast, it has been exactly 4 months and 8 days that I've been working in Bethany. I just think that everything is so in place. The residents here, the staffs, the place etc. It just fix so nicely into what I wanna do. And its a good place for me to learn how to love all kinds of people. :) As well as a good place for me to establish my knowledge I've learnt in school and also some common sense stuff to apply on works to be rectified.

I still can recall that I just dreaded going to work daily as I keep making mistakes and feeling upset about it and thinking that why am I so reckless and why is my heart not at work but somewhere else? I also remembered that I often look at my calender and thinking when should I take my off day to relax and to be away from work. I just think that my work load is alot but still, not as much as my the other colleague.

Though it is something that I am not specialised in doing, I am glad that I learnt something new and learning something that is out of my interest and the best thing is, I don't whine. :) Thank God. I've been praying everyday for Him to give me the strength to serve Him and doing it with all my heart. Very often, I failed. Sorry Father.

I wanna do what I can as a daughter and stop running away from him. I have to honour him all the while but it's hard to. Cause he don't really wish to talk to me. Perhaps I assume that he does not want to talk to me. Maybe it's time to cherish him more and shower him with more love.

Life has been wonderful for me and still the greatest problem is my life right now is still my family. I should stop running away from this problem and do something about it.

I seriously can't imagine what would happen if I have not met Him. He means so much to me and He is my saviour. He gives me peace. He is gracious. He is my everything. He is indescribable. God is who He is. Even God told Moses 'I am who I am' in Exodus 3:14. With human intellect, there is no one word can really describe God at all.

Thank you for bringing me to live. :)

2008-06-26T17:29:00.003+08:00

It is really disheartening to see your own mom dropped her tear and tell me that she is disappointed in me, I just need to let her know that I am truely sorry that if she thinks that I've offended her though I probably think that it is too harsh for her to accept the fact. I've never felt this way before. I've never knelt before her, I just want her to tell me forgive me and that's all. I love her.

I love my whole family as well.

I feel so sad whenever I fail to honour my parents. This is the only commandment I find it hard to keep. It's not that I don't love them, I do love them but my Dad has been trying to avoid me and has been very quiet to my siblings as well too. He is only noisy to my mum, nephew and my dog. is it so hard to talk to us? Must I let his character to stop me from honouring him? What exactly that stops me from not talking to him and shut myself up in my room? Hello, I say that I love him but still why am I not acting?

Thank you God for laying this in front of me.

Thank you for all the tears and heartaches. I know these are the times where I truly find your worth.

Still, I love every single one in my family. Every single of my friends, and every single people I see in the street. I don't despise them. I need to love, cause my Father taught me how to love. Loving people is something not easy to do as well. But that does not stop me from loving.

The world is full of darkness and thirsty for more love. Don't you agree?

I will stand strong in your arms Father, your mighty and strong arms that I can find peace and comfort. Arms that are strong enough to lighten my burden and hardships.

Love you Father, I love my parents, people around me. May peace, grace and mercy be upon them. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

2008-06-06T17:33:00.006+08:00

Some pictures from Casie Birthday! I don't think I've disappoint Steven! HAHA all thanks to God's strength and inspiration in decorating and planning the sequence of the party. :) I am really happy to see that all of us really went all out to help Casie. Though they were playful and seemed not very serious, they are actually very willing to help out with God's grace. :)

I must continue to work for the Lord!

I really must thank God for giving me so many opportunites to lead but often I do look down on myself and can't believe I can lead in such a short period of time. I must really thank Him for giving me this chance to keep reminding myself to do things not for my reputation or image but for His glory. And I am so glad that I am in dance ministry and I just feel so happy to dance for Him. I believe that devil is trying to oppress me telling me and get me started imagining me how will people think of me if I don't lead correctly and giving some lousy ideas. The devil also tried to tell me that I should not accept ideas from people but go along only my own ideas. Nah, the devil is defeated! Who can ever win the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? :) The prince definitely has to listen to the King. :)

2 Thessalonians 2:9-12

'The coming of the lawless (sinners) one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.'

I think it is kinda scary if I don't know the truth as people out there who knows refuse to tell me and get me ended up perishing. This is God's wrath. I will feel the same way as Him when people whom He loved so much still does not want to demolish the wall between them and God.

God is always so wonderful. Let us love Him as He first loved us. He has given us so many things in the world. We will never get to thank Him enough for our whole lifetime on earth. 'For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.' John 3:16

Can you imagine? ETERNAL. If your dictionary is near you, may be you can try to search what is the exact meaning of eternal. But also without checking, eternal means forever and ever and ever! Isn't it so cool that we can live for eternal without dying? Wouldn't you wanna go to heaven even if you are dead on earth but you will still live in heaven? God is so faithful and promising that He told us that He will give us this freewill for us to make choices. We were granted this freewill from the day of creation. And we are so free to choose that we can also choose to turn away from the truth and have idols in our life.

Thank you Lord for giving us this freewill. Thank you God for making me treasuring my life and live for you. Submitting myself to you and everything that I possess. Everything in my life I give them all to you. :) For I know that we came to Earth naked and everything we have belongs to you. :)

My Father in heaven, I promise that I will honour my parents and not be impatient with them. I will try to spend as much time as I can and in any circumstances that my Daddy oppose you, let me stand strong and be a living sacrifice for you just like what Jesus has done for every single one of us on earth. Let me love them like how you love me. Soften the hearts of every single one around me and let me clothe myself with the likeness of Jesus. Let my brothers and sisters stand strong on your word and continue to sow the seeds like what you want us to do. For God, I know that you want the rest to be saved as all of them belongs to you. I would like to uplift all these into your hands O' Lord. In my most precious and Holy name our saviour, Jesus Christ I pray.

Day of Revival!

2008-05-15T09:40:00.003+08:00

Yoyoyoyoyo. Haha. Then again you will always get to see new post every 2 weeks plus to 3 weeks - provided that I have the time to blog.

I love to sing praises to God and tell Him how great is Him. I am so hungry for the world's salvation. But my hunger is nothing compared to Him. He is so willing to always knock at their doors whom they always choose to have their door shut. He is always loving those who still does not want to hear about Him - though they know that there is only one God. Often, people does not see the urgency to believe in Him. They will tell themselves, 'Er, I believe there is only one God in this world. But I am only still young. Let me find that one God when I am __ years old.' That was me before I accepted Christ. Why must we give ourselves a grace period and decide for ourselves when are we going to do this and going to do that? For we can't foretell what the future is like.

I once kept asking myself. Why is there Earth? Why are there humans in this Earth? How does all living things come about? And what is the purpose of living? I doubt that most of you can answer me. Does worshipping those 'gods' that does not impact your life bringing any benefits to you? Does those 'gods' are so true that they encourage you to pierce your body and wear funny outfits and burn incense paper and offer foods for those that are no longer around in the world? 'For we brought nothing into the world, we can bring nothing out of it.' 1 Timothy 6:7. And then you are a man that did good deeds and doing everything out of your self righteousness, and still don't know who is the Father and the creator and still refuse to acknowledge Him, what credits will you get then?

I don't think all these are harsh but if you happened to read this, start to think about how much more than He is waiting for you and longing for you to hear Him and give Him chance to speak to you. And you may see miracles in your life. Do not let the sinful desires and earthly nature hold you back. Do not conform with the world. The world now is full of envy, jealousy, hatred, self-fishness. Let us not pursue all these but chase after His heart and desires.

Yes, let us have this Spirit to willing to sacrifice for Jesus. For Jesus at the cross tell the Father to forgive those people that has chatised, abused him and spit at him. His grace is so great that he bore our sins on the cross. How can we not be grateful to Jesus? We are the one should be crucified not him. We are the one who deserve to be dead not him. Because of His grace, we have been saved. We will never be able to give enough thanks to Him.

God is the almighty one. Nothing is impossible with God.

He loves each and everyone of us, be it those who rejected Him and those who loves Him.

2008-04-30T15:12:00.004+08:00

I am aware of not updating my blog for very long! Yes! Fantazia is over and now I got more time for my QT and more time to rest at home! I got pictures for Fantazia. If you all want it can get it from me provided I am free to send you. :) HAHAHA.

Work has been tough and gladly, and knowing that God is going through and beside me all the while, gives me peace.

And swimming at night can be so scary and fearing that somebody might pull you down or something. HAHA. I must invest in a swimming costume? Hmmmm. I just don't like the idea of wearing swimming costume. Perhaps T shirt and shorts will be more fun! I must start exercising! Cause I have been eating and eating! I don't wanna be fat lei....

I am so happy that I have been memorising verses! I really encourage people to memorise verses cause it really keeps you reminding yourself on His Word and you will be recharged!

Ok normally I will not feel like blogging when I am down that is one reason or I seriously don't have time. So pray to see more of my posts. :)

I love being a Christian cause life has never been the same like before me. Being so materialistic, realistic, full of envy, jealousy, gossips, trying to be outstanding, love money alot alot alot. And many sinful nature. Right now I am trying to be totally away from the sinful desires and I know my Counselor, Assurer will surely guide me. 'Those who are controlled by the sinful nature, cannot please God.' Romans 8:8.

I love evangelising. I love talking about God all day long! Rejoice for my mom's salvation! She is my sister in Christ now! How wonderful is God. :)

I just happened to read Revelation yesterday and came across this 'There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.' Revelation 22:5 Hallelujah God. I am awaiting for this day. :)

*Visit www.destinyimpact.net for my testimony and more interesting stuff! :)

2008-04-14T16:37:00.002+08:00

Hello. Maybe it's time for me to update cause I am waiting for more work to do. This week has been an exciting and tiring week for me. Alot of usual stuff to do and yes Fantasia is coming this Thursday! Can't wait for it to be over soon and kinda excited about it. Working adult life can be so tiring! Now then I know why Jen keeps complaining all the time and don't want to chill with us. HAHA.

God wanted to bring me to some places and I was so fearful and was not prepared for it. The experience was so amazing and would like to share it with everyone. Just ask me what is it and I will tell you what I've encountered. He is always so good. I have also been given tongues and rejoice about it.

Yesterday I saw hands reaching out to me. I thought it was God cause only God will reach out to us. But as I see clearly, the hands look so big which are as big as my body size! It looks so greyish and skully. The hands were so scary and it is from a dark human silhuoette which I thought was God at first and I changed my mind cause I didn't see any glory. It is so frightening and the hands are disgusting. They were trying to touch me but they can't touch me because Devils can't lay hands on the son of God. :)

I need to go to school soon and Luke 11:13 tells us not to doubt God as He loves us so dearly and whatever things we ask for, it will definitely be given to us.

2008-03-28T13:23:00.002+08:00

Many great trials ahead. I believed that all these are nicely planned for me. And work has been alot of things to do but it is still just that I am not sure what's going on certain times and there is really alot for me to learn. I am very glad that I get to have this honour to have a marvellous journey with Christ. Everything I've prayed for has been given to me.

I am very happy to be able to be one of the ushers during the Easter concert. Although I didn't really get to hear the music playing cause I was moving here and there, I am very glad that I served the Lord! A verse for thought, 'Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for the men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving' Colossians 3:23-24 This was what is being said to me when I really don't know what to do at work. Maybe it's just the beginning that is confusing and not as tough, as I learn more, I get to deal with more stuff. From now onwards, serve for Him and glorify Him!

Thank you to my Brother Sean for revealimg my dreams. My dreams can be so shocking and everything I dreamt carries a meaning in. I've learnt how to pray and it is so scary at first to pray in the public. But I am glad that I'prayed for my sister and I am growing to love her more and more. Father will definitely put everyone into test and test how far and strong our faith is in Him. May all of us bear in mind that He will never leave us in any circumstances and the hurdles ahead of you are actually created and happened with His purpose. Always remember, everything the devil does he have to report to the Lord. And the Lord is the one who allows the devil to do it! (Read Job)

'Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. I will praise you as long as I live and in your name I will lift up my hands.' Psalm 63:3-4

2008-03-15T08:50:00.003+08:00

Hello I've missed out blogging for two weeks. I would really like to blog during my office hours but I am just too busy with calling up for companies to send me quotations, get men to come repair my equipments and learning which contractors are trying to be dishonest. Yes I've been so drain out with work, dance and church but I don't see a need to whine! I enjoy everything I am doing now. Maybe work for now is a little tougher for me cause I seriously got alot more of things to learn. Alot of calculations and construction terms that I have to study in depth. Yes, God is still my priority in everything.

Certain times I really feel so sinful cause I've neglected obeying Him and keep seeking forgiveness. But that is not the way! I've been seeking forgiveness over the same issue again and again and keep promising Him again and again that I won't do it again. I shall continue praying with more faith.

Many miracles have happened to me. What I've asked for God has already shown it to me. The recent one is 2 days ago my sister fainted at home. I prayed silently for her and I can see her heart crying. I messaged my brothers and sisters and you know what, she felt better after that and began to walk! Initially she was sitting on the floor leaning helplessly on a stool! Can you imagine that how powerful is God? I did not choose to pray in front of her cause I know that she will feel uncomfortable. When time ripes, I will let her know that is God that healed her!

Yesterday Emily messaged me that she was down with a high fever. I was at my old work place and I prayed for her! After that she came and message me that she felt better! Wonderful God, you are the almighty one.

He has shown me many things through His word and I shall meditate it day and night. God already has plan for us and everything give to me is just in the perfect timing. Praise God.

I would like to share this Matthew 6:25 'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and body more important than clothes?' I heard this verse before from Timothy. This is so well said. Life is not just about luxury. You are created not to live for luxury in earth. But to store treasures in heaven. You are created to have a convenant with Him but not to obey the prince's evil doings. Have faith in him and He will always feed you. :)

He is so amazing. His love endures forever.

2008-03-01T21:27:00.002+08:00

Stuff that has been happening within these 9 days that I have not been blogging. Wonderful and not so wonderful happenings. Glad that the not so wonderful stuff, will not happen ever again.

Yes, amazingly, God talked to me in my dream 2 days back. I believed it was after reading Violet's and Carol's blog that did not fail to touch and struck me. The animation of how human rejected God and the video of how human got tempted by all the devils, God is still there persistently waiting, welcoming and wanna create a closer relationship with you. Just one simple reason, He loves us.

Yes, back to dream again. I was sleeping and halfway through (as far as I could recall) I sensed some sharp pain in my chest and followed by breathing difficulties. My eyes were so tired. Yet, I saw a very bright white light shone at my eye (the feeling is like when you encounter some very bright light shone on you when you close your eyes). Before I could react or think so much, God said this to me, 'Don't ever doubt me. I am your glory.' I remembered that I was so delighted when I finally heard his voice. When I woke up, I could not recount what had happened but I just felt something took place in the middle of the night. My day was so good after he talked to me. Perhaps this is just the beginning. I am hungry for more of his voice.

Today taught the GB girls dance. Lol. Was enjoyable and I God has taught me how to be patient. I am no longer like before who does not know how to teach people and get frustrated so easily. I just can't wait for the next dance session with them. The girls are all so lovely and some are just a little bit too loud. :)

God has given me a gift! A gift of voice to sing! I've prayed to sing well and have better vocals cause I enjoyed it so much when worshipping. Praise the Lord!

Giving my testimony in front of around 20 is kinda scary especially when everyone's sitting in a circle. Everyone is able to get the best view of you. While Eric was talking about his testimony, I was not listening at all and I prayed that I will not be panicking when I talk about my testimony later. So my mind was so blank when it was my turn. But words kept splurting out naturally and I can't believe I was so cool about it. Thank God. And my tear began to drop when I started to have a sudden feeling of how I felt before when I was not a Christian (the feeling of how pathetic I was before not trusting that there's God in the world) while saying the testimony. I just can't control the tears and I don't expect me to tear either. Anyway, it was wonderful to share with people on my life. And it IS wonderful.

I just want to share about this that what I've learnt today. The righteous shall lead by faith, not by sight. Meaning things you see, shall not decide on how you should live. Just like the world is stopping you from pursuing on what you want, they discourage you, look down on you. They tell you you are not able to do it (how people look at you does not matter to you but how does the Lord looks at you matter the most) But with faith, you know you are able to do it cause you know God is with you. 'According to your faith, it will be done to you.' Matthew 9:29. If you believe in God that you wanna be somebody, it will be granted to you some day definitely. You are shower with gifts because God is our Father. He loves us so much. Just like how you would love your sons and daughters and shower them with lots of love no matter how naughty they are.

I am so glad I get to share with things I've learnt over here and believe that through these words, I will get more harvest.

Anyway, I am starting work on Monday! Can you imagine? I've entered into a working adult lifestyle so soon! I just can't wait to start work cause I will be working in Bethany Methodist Nursing Home! Praise God! I feel I am getting closer to Him each and everytime when I realise that my family somehow working closely with Christians.

I just borrowed this book by Max Lucado. Very good one after I read the first chapter. I just can't wait to attend tomorrow's service! Happy happy. And 'Come Holy Spirit' has been in my brain every now and then. My favorite song. :)

2008-02-21T18:57:00.003+08:00

I've started keeping a notebook on recording down my thoughts in my life. It's only today then I notice why the rest are keeping one and I am still relying on my brain cells to recall every event.

I got a dream last night! A few things have been bugging me recently and I am trying so hard to struggle. So much so that I can't feel that He is around with me certain times. The devil has took his place in me and I feel that I am so useless and a Sinner certain times. I would dare not to seek forgiveness in a couple of events as it is useless to keep commiting the same thing and keep calling your Father to forgive you.

Yes, back to my dream. I believe that Lord is trying to tell me something. I dreamt that Singapore was facing a battlefield against some country. I was camouflaged under 'grasses', 'kernel corns' and card boxes with some other people whom I don't know. I knew we will be spotted by our enemies and I am just too tired to move and hope that I would be sleeping my way through under those stuff. And there is this sergeant among us assured us as everything will be fine cause he will be protecting us with his weapon. And then in my dream, I dreamt that Jun Hao will be attacking the enemy as he is a Commando (not gotta to reveal what he did by attacking cause I got no idea who are viewing my blog) I got so worried for him. I was also wondering why would Singapore face a war as we have been so friendly. Is it a sign of what God is trying to tell me in my dream that the end of world is coming? And deep in my heart I kept praying and praying hoping or enemies going to attack us will got attack by our army. At the other hand, I doubted God in my dream and thinking maybe praying does not work. Just then, I woke up, telling myself that I don't wanna go back to this dream again.

And I really think that sometimes I am just too lazy to pray and gets really impatient when I don't see things happen so quickly. It takes a few decades to hear God's voice and I shouldn't be expecting too much right? Hmmm... I love going to Church cause I feel so energised with God's words all over again. :)

I am very glad that I get to share with my Mom on the miracles I faced so far in my life and she is so willing to listen. She even told me that she wanted to follow me to Church one day! This is seriously a good news :)

I've also met so many wonderful people in WAC and yes, for those their heart is not strong enough, I will continue to pray for you!

I am happy that Violet gained alot from mentoring session and I just can't wait to share more miracles with her again! Yes!

Ok, BMD exam tomorrow. I've not started yet but still all the best for the papers for my fellow neighbours!

Thank you Lord I am able to participate in Song and Dance item. I will do a good job in it.

'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God' Ephesians 2:8

2008-02-11T18:21:00.000+08:00

Hello hello Happy Chinese New Year! It has been so long that I've missed blogging. So many miracles have happened in my life since I accepted Lord a week ago.

My life have been so wonderful nonetheless. There will always be Joy every minute and every second. And I pray almost every moment when I have the time.

I met so many nice people at West side Anglican Church! Thank You, Jesus. I am glad that I've found a home.

I will continue to pray and pray for my family and my friends.

Thank you Andy and Violet as well as the others who had and will be guiding me along the journey in accepting Christ.

It is a total blessing. :) Learn how to love him and he will love you even more. Jesus, I love You.

2008-01-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

I don't wish to talk about yesterday's incident. Some aunties are ridiculous. Thank you Mr Keow for comforting me and thank you Andy who saved my day. Luckily I didn't fork out $19 for the soap dispenser.

I am clearing my assignments now. Won't be so free for any shopping or what so ever. Only ask me out during or after Chinese New Year ok?

I took like 2 days to complete my Resume. Sigh! I seriously wrote alot. Hopefully my format is correct. Interview on this Friday. I will give my very best shot.

I think I am making another body art soon. With Putri and Chin Ping on this Saturday. If not, I will use the money to buy my Lipose.

Bye! I really wish that I have good camera sometimes. :(

2008-01-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

I wanna scream again. Arrrggggghhh! Now I got like 8 projects in hand. I am not a superwoman and gotta complete all in like two weeks time. I got no idea how am i gotta graduate when my FYP is not even halfway through. Mr Ong has been giving us cheeky smile whenever we ask he on what he expected the project to turn out to be like. Oh nooo... I wanna work and earn money. I don't wish to hang on to another sem for just my UD FYP! ZZZZZZZZ...

I have been feeling like a pig now. Never exercise for like 2 months?!!! Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh! I just feel so fat after every meals or everything that goes in. Tsk. Let me be sick and so I will lose weight. I wanna have a body like the young Britney (Check out her 'Unprotected' Video to get you anticipate in dieting)

I am going for a jog now. My track shorts does not have a pocket. Where should I put my handphone? Should I bring my water bottle along? I am too lazy to carry it to run. It will be so tiring. And running at this hour is dangerous right? Anyway I don't care much anymore. Heck it, I wanna lead a more healthy lifestyle than just facing chickens. :(

Thank you Zal for the perfect Mp3 for very belated birthday present. Best of luck for your SIA interview.

Work and Study hard. But play even harder. I really hope to have a personal gym room.

2008-01-14T19:11:00.000+08:00

I received a call from Keow just now! He wanna me to work as a Building Facility Manager at a Nursing Home on March! Such a good opportunity for me. I will be negotiating with Quantity Surveyor, Architects and Contractors. And this will be going on for a year! Thank goodness. I was still ocnsidering whether I should join CDA after Diploma. The pay is more attractive than you can ever imagine. This job really requires alot of stressful hours. Hope that I will be able to cope. Yes! 2B on March. Ok, I am hitting 20 soon.

I gotta be very cold blooded this time. But still not as heartless as Wani who just leave without telling me. :( I gotta leave my long term gold digger and head for a diamond worth one. Lol. Sorry if I am not allowed to laugh.

Yes, I am so addicted to Golden Path now. Nice serial. And gotta do more research on Paris riots so not to get prompt by hungry people in class. Yes need to do some hock lee bus riots and 1969 riots. Oh Gosh, I am not interested in World Issues at all!

Bye.

2008-01-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

I got like 8 to 9 projects in hand now! Gosh, damn slack. I just finished my BMD e-project which really stress me out. Sigh! Not a very good job done but heck it.

Ok, results not very overwhelming for my CTs. All 60 something and one borderline. Better than failing still.

Gotta meet G at 10! Gotta rush now. Sorry for not turning up. Feel really guilty. I owe lolliepops to my dear Wani and Putri. :)

Stress mode as always. Bye! Life has not been better somehow or as always.

2008-01-04T01:24:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHH. I need to scream badly. How old-fashioned thinking can you be having? I am doing project at home, not doing anything else that you can imagine! You may have a bad past, but that doesn't mean I will be following your foot steps! I already asked mom and she agreed. I knew you will think otherwise. And I believe you do not have a say over here! I just don't get why do you always oppose me? Why do you always get so jealous of me? Why can't there be peace between us? I need this badly. I don't want any barrier to exist. I need a sister to listen to me. Not one that always treat me as an enemy and thinking so lowly of her own sister.

I really need a caring sister to be there for me. But I bet I will never be able to experience it. And never have I once enjoy it.

I am not as low as you think. The words broke my heart. Telling this to other people can be a disgrace.

Still, Happy 18th Birthday my Beloved Brother. He is still my best. I will support you with your 2B. :)

2008-01-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

I am in a totally stress mode now. Projects suck.

2007-12-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

I almost lost my wallet at Mos! I lost it at MOS last year during Keegan's Birthday and this year at the exact same date, almost lose it at Mos Burger Bugis. Such a coincidence. Lol.

Luckily my wallet was saved by the Mos Burger staff. :)

I didn't regret going out today and forgo my money rolling plan. That princess can be a fun girl to be with. I seriously need to know her more and I don't think she is as dangerous as others.

Whatever it is, I spent alot this time and I wanna earn back what I've spend.

Nothing so special about this year's Christmas and New Year. I don't think I need any resolutions.

I miss my G, g.

2007-12-25T02:26:00.000+08:00

Certain people just don't appreciate what I've done. Merry Christmas and thank you for the exchange gifts.

2007-12-21T01:07:00.000+08:00

I didn't blog for almost a week! My holidays will be over very soon. Projects are piling up so fast that I can hardly have time on my own and friends. :(

Very sad. Having alot of money now. But no time to spend it. Zzzz.

Why are there people who tags me and refuse to let me know who are they? Is it such a disgrace to view my blog? Sigh.

I should reframe myself from falling in too deep. And focus on other stuff. I hate having this kind of feelings. Feelings that I have not been having since very very very long ago. I should stay very strong.

Work has been nightmares for me. Even when I sleep, I would be dreaming of me working! Zzzz. I really think that I am stress sometimes. Maybe you all are right......

Bye. No photos of the day for today. Lazy to upload!

2007-12-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

Do I look stress? Do I behave I am stress? Why does everyone calls me not to stress up when I'm not even stressing myself up. I admit that certain things I wanted it to be done quick (not on schoolwork please) but when I chase you after it does not mean I am stress! Just don't wish people to take their own sweet time. And I got a tagger thinking I am stress too? Whhhyyyyyyyyyy?

Workaholic has been working full shift lately. Happy Birthday Daddy and Mummy! Hope you enjoyed the treat from us even though my nephew is being such a d. The dinner serves food that is not worth the price. Anyway, at least we get to sit down together and eat. It has been so long that our whole family has a reunion meal. Even if we have, I just feel it will be kinda awkward. I do not know how to talk to my Dad anymore. Don't ask me why.

Called Mom to tie a plait for me. Very happy that my hair is growing longer. But looking back at the photos, I still miss my cool spiky hair. Give me three more months, my hair will be longer and I can tie a perfect plait without and pins to do the work. :)

Handling riders, complaints, orders and despatching is not easy job. Money is the worse thing you got to do at the very end of the day. Any mishap, I gotta explain and pay for it. Sucks right? Now I know why does the co-ordinator always complains.

Feeling unwell today. Decided to just stay at home instead of going movie! I promise Wednesday I will go! :) Maybe catching up with Jun hao later. Sniper and parachuting! Wow.

Photo of the day:

You might be surprised that shooting mushrooms are popular!

2007-12-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

Studied from 10 pm to 1 am, 8 kitchen appliances and 5 discharges.

Studied from 5.30 am to 7.30 am, FCU, CAV, VAV, Cooling Towers, heaters and 8 appliances. Didn't really bother to care about the discharges.

What does it explain? My mind run faster and smarter at the very last minute. Usually a couple of hours before test. HRF - A. BMD - B. SAM - F :( Still not over yet, I still need to study for my SAM. Who call me itchy backside go take MC? Though Dr Choo always likes to give away his saviours.

Ok, so I assume is holidays now. FYP due by this Saturday. =D

My mom's helping me with my wardrobe. I am too lazy to tidy up. Lol. Imagine I only have 4 half hour to sleep cause of my test. Gotta sleep now and wake up again at 4 pm for work.

And tomorrow I will be despatching and co-ordinating all the way! Can't wait to try out new stuff. :)

Ok, I thinking of opening another account to save money. I seriously need to save. One month save $40. For my future? Am I still too late?

Aiyo, I can't stand me complaining too much.

Rainy days, always lazy to go out. Staying at home is a bliss!

Ok, ok Photo of the day:

2007-12-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

Very very blunt for my previous post. Maybe I didn't really do it on purpose. But I just don't wanna hide anymore. This is a place where I share all my feelings with. I just can't seem to find anyone to replace it. Sometimes, you have to accept your flaws and change it. Too lazy to bother? Forget it then. People will be too lazy to care about you as well.

I am sooo full! Exam stress, I will eat alot especially I am at home the whole day. Slacking 75 per cent and studying 25 per cent. Give me less than 2 hours and I will be done for 5 chapters. I really scrutinise that fast! I love BMD, but not George. He looks like some auntie professor trying to cover his balls all the time. Tricky fellow who always play around his words and I believe more than half the lecture mates dislike him. Ong is still the best!

Very busy week for me! I am going to learn how to be a co-ordinator! Very cool. I don't wish to handle operation anymore. :( Especially people will be making me angry all over again. Saw Taufik Batisah yesterday! He was asking for me to pack his share. But I still acted cool and smiled at him a little. Poor Wani, hated me cause she likes him so much that he decided to ignore me! Lol. Hmmm. I still prefer him to wear more cloths next time. And Wani, I love you la!

I promised Guozhen I will study at 7pm. And we gotta celebrate for Christmas this year! Wait for Pris to come back from her trip first! Lol. Can't wait. After Wednesday, I will be having 18 days holidays! Working time!

Photo of the day:

Very nice of Mount Kinabalu.

2007-12-09T14:46:00.000+08:00

Why does everyone doesn't seem to be blogging? Their blogs are always as dead everytime I go. That lose my interest on blog hopping.

I really envy the amount of money my brother get for working for less than 12 hours as compared to mine, more than 12 hours but yet still twice as little as he's.

Why is it always that I fall sick during exam periods? At first I will keng that I am sick. But once I keng, the real will come. Is it a punishment for me not to tell lies? Lol. And f George. He sent me this prolonged absence in lecture attendance warning letter to me! I assume its only me who got it. He seems to be picking on me. Others getting the same performance of my attendance do not seem to get warnings from him. He bias freak.

And i hate people that can't just get on with her life and bugging someone else. And being so much for a trouble maker, still don't know how to appreciate people who treats her so good. People now calls you b (I won't stop them). Please don't go around telling people your dummy weight! No one is gotta bother about you anymore if you still don't change. (I still think my lemon tea taste better!)

I don't wanna waste my time on this kind of people.

Photo of the day:

2007-12-04T15:16:00.000+08:00

I seriously gotta blog today! I was totally shocked with messages these few days and this is the most special one!

I received a messge early in the morning from a good friend. I just can't imagine my good friend to fall for me! And all the while he acted it out so normal which I don't see him showing me any sign of likeness in me.

I just think that this is too much to accept it and I seriously need time to calm down. I really don't want to be in any relationship or anything but right now I am so disappointed in myself. I seriously hate to break peoples' heart. But I will just go with the flow and don't think as much.

Yes, I miss that bitch in my workplace. But hope he likes my chocolate and three-eyed monster. It is something that I would like you to keep to remember us. Although you are a slacker (is there any word to substitute this? I can't think of any though), we still enjoy your company and seriously, I also think it is better for you to leave for a better paying job. Hope you will put on your best performance in your new job. Defintely, we will miss you more than you do!

FYP is so sickening. We just don't seem to get things done. Lazy arses! Get A already then so slack liao. How can like that? Wake up la Oi!

SAM test tomorrow. I still don't know how to start with! Die. Die. Die. BMD fastest finger quiz on Thursday. FYP due Tuesday. Tests on Tuesday and Wednesday. Daddy Birthday on Wednesday, Shooting on Friday, Mommy Birthday on Saturday. Shit, here goes my earning money chance. And I got projects to settle in the two weeks break! I need to plan X'mas celebration for Sabah mates! I need to buy presents for Dad, Mom, Azhar, Loka and Choon. ARGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Lastly I have not shop for ages. Too busy!

Sigh, I have still been thinking about this. Tsk. I try not to let this affect me.

Photo of the day:

Taken by Diana.

2007-11-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

Jackson lent me this Digitial Photography Book by Scott Kelby. And I also gathered alot of information from this pro. I think he gotta slash me for asking so many questions. The technical terms are the challenging part to figure it how does the name come about. I really really need to have more practises to familiarise. Now I need someone to guide me. :)

I wanna set up a dark room for myself. But I got no idea how to get the equipments. Nor do I bother to find out. Very very lazy...

You took my heart and threw it away. Sometimes, it does not pay to treat people so good. Often, they will step over you and expect more from you. Being patient for me is already over limit. I try to be 'soft-spoken' (I don't call myself that, Wani thinks I am though I seriously think otherwise) to stop myself from bursting. But when I burst, I will be real mean. I just need to let it out cause I can hardly breathe. I have been kind enough, I have walk out on you long ago and not to help you. All I wanna see is you to be successful. Cause I know that nobody will bother to help other than me. If you still continue to do what you wanna do and not heed my umpteen advices, I am not thinking twice but to walk out on you.

Today my mood was not as good. Early in the morning got a shock from a fire incident. Hiryanti did not off the pot and pumped up the oil. I knew the pot was stucked cause of the harden crumbs that irresponsible people have caused. The oil started heating up and the wire caught fire. Sir Mizi went to extinguish that fire (she gay looks so dashing when she put off the fire) with powder extinguisher (it makes a huge difference if its in powder, liquid, foam or carbon dioxide form) I thought everything was very funny cause Hiryanti was very paranoid about this and blamed herself. Everyone does make mistake right? I don't really hold it on her. The clearing of terrible mess makes it an incredible experience for me in four years. Sir Mizi completes the day with held back mind games and er, treating me as his walk along dictionary. :/

Sometimes, I am thinking should I stay and promote or should I just leave and get a higher pay. I stayed because my AreaM called me to. If not, I am not gotta work in a dis-organised team and stay at a place whereby staffs are not properly taken care off. Who else can I lament this to? It is no longer the same. I seriously missed the old management that handle things very well and stood up for staffs that are contributing. What I see now is different, management are concerning only their paperwork and covering their arses. I can't bear to do that even if I am a manager. Often, I really wanna accept that offer but am afraid I can't be a good one. Probably, not really that prepared to face the critics. Champs Challenge has already proven to me that that are still many out there that are much more better than me. How am I to improve when no one is taking any action?

I just can't stand the sight of seeing people not doing anything at work. Tsk.

Very very long post today. Decided to just to stay at home than joining Elfe and Guozhen they all. Very sorry. I know that I had never talk about work in my blog before. I have no other options this time round.

Photo of the day:

Taken by AE-1. That is why I need my own dark room. :)

2007-11-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

I did something upright today after Jun Hao called telling me he was trapped inside his house cause his brother took his keys. I thought that was really funny and decided to deliver food to his door step. While crossing the bridge on the way to his house, I saw this very old lady. One hand hectically grabbing the railings, on the other with an umbrella trying to find perfect spots for supports. I switched and widen my view and saw a guy has overpassed me before although he had seen that the old lady was in difficulties. I was hung back to approach and examined her whether she need any help from me. Leaving that 'My friend is starving' mentality, I went up to her and her face turned from a weary to a thankful one.

She chatted with me along on the bridge and exchanged to speaking fluent English that you had not thought to be. (People always stereotype that old lady with leg problems, walk very slowly are always uneducated. Ok, enough on stereotypes.) She has three sons studying for degrees in England and 7 grandchildrens. I told her she must be having a good life and my parents will still have a long way to go. I held her arm and I could feel her weakening veins are shifting positions. Her arm is so fragile and can be seemed to break anytime if I apply more than enough force. I hope I will not like that one day.

Daddy has a Canon AE-1 with FD 50mm lens. Produced between 1970s to 1980s. I am not sure whether I can put it to good use. Jackson advised me to save up money for Pentax. But on the other side I seriously feel like purchasing toy cameras. I just hope that there are no fungi inside my AE-1. Its the man that is playing the trick. Not the cameras and photoshops as always.

I did not steal pictures! But I saved to admire them. Lol. This is how I try to learn. :)

Just woke up from 3 hours nap. Gotta sleep again soon.

Picture of the day from .Bala DOF shot:

Pssst.. Did you hear about that red one over there?

2007-11-20T01:09:00.000+08:00

Glad that my presentation went in a good way. Not exactly really well, but just a bit of cock ups on the video due to the sound. Its alright as long as Sim mentioned good job and he likes my conclusion! :) I didn't even get the opportunity to clarify my conclusion and he covered my loop hole.

Monday is always 11am reach school to prepare scripts for presentation and 2pm to present. 5pm finsh school and 7.30pm dance. But now has changed. I've not danced for three weeks. I really miss it. :( I am kinda happy though when certain times classes are cancelled cause I can give attention to other stuff at the same time.

School is usually draggy and I seriously greed being a sniper. You learn about wind direction, hot air rises cold air sinks, weather, materials and all. I wanna be in Maximum! Sigh. May I join army?

Tomorrow lesson at 10am. I still need to rush Sabah report now. Imagine how could I remember what I've exactly done in 14 days. 1st day, reach Kota Kinabalu. 2nd day, reach Kiau Nulu. 3rd day, lay the bricks. 4th day, photography day. 5th day, play in-between and won 70++ ringgit.......... Thank you Joyce for the very brilliant idea from Dai Seng. Finally met up with them and I gotta organise a Christmas gathering for them. :)

Photo of the day

Fisheye.

2007-11-16T13:07:00.000+08:00

I'd spent long time flickring and I have been going on about needing a camera. I've learnt alot from flickr and that is not enough, I need to experiment. I didn't know there are so many professionals out there giving advices.

Yes, I just find it odd why people likes to talk to me stuff on A and screw it other way round and tell other people stuff on A+B. Zzz. Tell me if you don't like my approach of working. And by intending not to turn up and absent for presentations and not getting marks won't gain you any merits. This kind of attitude is such a let down. Not picking up calls and replying messages are not ways to run away. Anyway its group work right?

I feel so upset when I feel to drive people around. I am too soft hearted I suppose? I just want this problem to be resolved and I want hide and seek no more.

Being an actress is not easy. Derek got more than 50 NGs. Zzz. Producer must be damn tolerant. That explains some are more popular than the others.

Photo of the day:

Semi-naked shot.

2007-11-14T12:56:00.000+08:00

I hate school. I hate school I hate school. I hate to study. I hate to study. I hate to study.

I can't wait for this semester to be over and there will be holidays back again! I can't wait to get out to work and earn more money!

I need something to drive me to get me kicking on projects. I don't want to push people anymore. It's very tiring to do so.

It is so much different for now. I seriously can't even get a 20 year old to listen to me. In order to survive in this place, she got to polish up her language. But she is seriously stubborn, indecisive. Is it that she does not have enough confident to face this world? I am trying to help her but what the hell makes her not listening to me? I am such a loser and she really disappoint me. I hope she will change for the better and be more independent. This will be enough.

Thank you for all the presents I've got and like it alot. Especially the most unique one from Magnets Company, HSM album. Lol. That was really funny though. :)

I seriously thought this was very nice

2007-11-07T19:05:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Angeline! Thank you for those who wished me! The lists go really long and I am glad.

Thank you for the presents and I got a train for my Brother. He was really sweet and surprised me with a Birthday wish Wallpaper. And thank you Johnson for bringing me to his Classy place to eat and hear me whine. Thank you Ziwei and all for the presents. Thank you Dabin who only bother to celebrate my Birthday next year. More celebrations coming.

I seriously don't know what she is thinking and I gave up on her. And I must be ready to face the critics.

At the same time, Happy Birthday to Guo Zhen, Nas, Ganesh, Ashley, Yun Yun, Ronald, Salina, Jocelyn, Song Chee! :)

2007-11-05T19:46:00.000+08:00

I can't believe a grown up's mentality can be worse than a toddler. You are so disappointing and please grow up. Being so insensitive and oh man, I fking not gotta have you as a friend. You don't deserve it. Look at yourself, you are not perfect enough to say the others. People around, I rather you to stand out for yourself than following the others. Stop bugging.

Something's wrong with my life. How can I treat myself like a man?

Birthday in two days time. It doesn't matter how many Birthday celebrations I have this year. I am glad to have family and friends that care.

I hate to stay at home. Seriously. Cause I know I'll be in the room all day.

Tell me what to do please. I'm falling in love with all the pictures in flickr!

2007-10-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I just got my Lap Top repaired yesterday noon. Was super excited to be able to online again. :) Please reformat your Lap Top.

Yes school has started for me last Thursday! Lol. Projects started barging in just like that. Have not even touched on FYP. OCT seriously gotta kill me and show me his pulping lips and not so white teeth. Zzz. And thank god all the lectures are pon-table. I no need to seriously go to school again. :)

My Birthday coming! So excited. 7/11. Why does people celebrating birthdays when they are lamenting about their life? Lol. Good question asked. Humans always like to eat chocolate and butter together sometimes.

Alright I know I keep saying this, but today I saw an Olympus underwater camera in Magazine! I wanna take myself in the water!

Dempsey Hill Pictures!

2007-10-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

He dashed in for the picture. I don't look happy alright.

Not a nice strawberry shortcake.

I didn't eat this! Look at that prawn!

My second dessert, three different flavours of chocolate brownie to fulfil my satisfaction.

Talented photographer like me! Lol.

Look at Kitano! Look!

Blanket on the chair? F.

Thanks for cropping the picture.

Retarded 'Group' photo. Apa nie?

I betrayed your trust!

Joey Happy Flour Day!

Eye kena flour damn shiok. Wanna try?

See how bad it is... All thanks to the guy below.

Nicholas Tay Shi Blah.

School has started and today is Angeline's first day of school! I am so excited that I was afraid that 9am lecture would be cancelled and thinking AGAIN whether I should go to school. C'mon I hate to do projects and get irritated with mates and wake up early in the morning and squeeze together with the other NPians. Hate inconsiderate people who share a grab bar all by themselves and leaning on my hand SHIOKLY. Yes, I'm not being fussy here but isn't it basic common sense and courtesy that you should not lean on grab bars when the bus is packed?!

Another unfortunate thing is my IS class. I tried to fake to change my time slots to another class but I failed. Why must the Admin Manager made my Tuesday life so difficult and I need to come to a solution and say I need to accompany my DAD to Kidney Foundation Centre? Lol. Derek was shocked that I looked so serious and real.

Nevermind I guess I will just make new friends again. Yes! This sem's timetable damn slack. Thursday finish at 11, Friday off! I got long weekends!

Anyway, I'll just let my passion live by me and not thinking about competing. I just wanna perform and show what I enjoy doing for. But not competing and see who is stronger. I love what I am doing now and wanna improve my rhythm. I don't wanna to be in any comm anymore. Those unfamiliar faces are not friendly to be with. Why are humans like that? Why are they so realistic?

2007-10-15T16:44:00.000+08:00

Went to House on Saturday and the ambience was superb! The whole place is really very impressive.

Unfortunately, Dempsey is a very hard place to find. Please watch out your butts while crossing the road cause I got hit by a car literally.

I didn''t even know there will be Flour party going on which ruin the plan of watching Resident Evil again at a different theatre. Lol.

Thank you for everyone making the night possible and Happy Birthday to Nicholas, Eric and Joey.

Sorry Nicholas cause I've betrayed your trust in me. And Dabin, please send the pictures quick!

2007-10-10T02:02:00.000+08:00

Is getting love from someone or giving my love away so important? Relationship love.

I don't need to have a boy now.

I just wanna get away with quarrels, not getting heartaches, not expecting too much from the other party, not waiting patiently by the phone, not getting pissed easily, not afraid telling lies, not making sure I am being a ultra good partner, not neglecting my friends, not managing my schedule well to fulfil his.

I can't be a good lover and fake to treat someone really well which I don't love.

I can't do that now. Which means this is not the right time for me to love anybody yet!

Any yes, when I'll start to change again which you got to wait for another lap of time. Screw me!

* I'm not trying to tell how popular you may think but I just can't stand certain people. Maybe I just don't bother to explain the situation. I don't wish all these to happen as well!

2007-10-07T13:43:00.000+08:00

I have weird dreams recently. Ever since I returned from Kiau Nulu, I've been dreaming of my Sabah mates and the villagers! No, it is haunting me! Yesterday I dreamt that my lecturers called us up to get back to Sabah again and I was overjoyed. The day before I dreamt that I went out with my Sabah mates. Two days before I dreamt that we were playing with kids and millipedes. Damn!

I will go back there as soon as I earn more money after graduate! :)

I can't wait to start work in SCDF after I graduate! I can get to wear their uniform and be those kind of boyish tough girl. Yes! Very cool.

I think doughnuts are not as popular as before. It is a trend and following the example on how bubble tea goes. It's time to mark their prices down to a lower notch.

I can't wait to get SLR camera.

School is starting in exactly a week's time. Here goes my outings and money.

I miss people that should be missed.

I am glad that I get to realise some people are not as bad as you think and am happy to get to know that person better before jumping to my own perspective.

At the same time, those reliable people you thought would be, turned into b**t**ds which you thought he/she/they wouldn't.

Back to doughnuts. You can get ultimate small doughnuts at Central. Not that fantastic, but nnniiiiiiccccceeeeeeeee.

I dread to go work at Three. Ffffffff.

I starting to type senseless things like these. Ffffff.

2007-10-04T15:06:00.000+08:00

I missed taking photographs!

The pleasure, grief, dishearten, thrills and bothered feelings you would find in there.

I wanna go back there and take more photographs!

Sabah Days.

2007-09-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

Some photo courtesy by Dabin.

More to come.

2007-09-25T02:11:00.000+08:00

Back home.

I'm glad that I went Sabah. To see the kids, to teach them singing, to construct pre-school, to dig a nearly-impossible trench, to bathe in icy cold water, to use non-dirt free toilet, to tackle people, learn photography.

I'm tired.

I will do backpacking trip soon. :)

More descriptions to be updated.

I am going off..........

2007-09-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

Counting down 5 more days to my Sabah two-weeks trip. This will be the longest period of time that I will be leaving my Home Sweet Home and not be able to contact anyone. Is it a bit dumb to bring Laptop there? Do they have WIFI there? My handphone don't have IDD, so should I bring?

The thought of being 19 years old this year, this will be my first time taking plane. I am energised cause I would get to see how much does it take to look out the window :). I wanna take lots of pictures of the life there and share with my friends here. I got no idea how bad is the living condition there too. There will be alot of perspiring work to do and I can't wait to perspire my love out for them. :) I hope that the condition is seriously bad so I would treasure what I have now and not asking for more I possess.

Tomorrow will be a busy day for me cause in the morning I need to go for injection and blood test. In the afternoon will be my Sabah briefiing in school and after that I need to go ICA building to change my Passport photo. I still got to shop for sleeping bag, sanitary items and more (I have not come out with the list as yet). See, my mind is all about Sabah, Sabah and Sabah. ZZZZZZZZZ.

I don't know whether is this call Deja vu or something? Everytime when I dream of certain people, the person will appear in front of me the day after. So is this call telepathy? Actually it is kinda real when you are thinking of a person too much, your brain waves will travel to another person that you missed and that person somehow can receive it and he/she will think of you at the same time as well. Some shit idea that my friend came out with which I can't recollect who told me. I hope this will be useful when I am away (See it goes again, I am only going off for two weeks, not forever. DUH!).

LOL. There will surely be one last post before I leave. I am leaving on the 11th September 2007. So if you all wanna date me, press the green color button and wait for your turn. Tata.

2007-09-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

I seriously can't bear to leave this place and the most thing I will miss is dance. I am disappointed that I can't get to perform at AMK Hub cause of my trip.

Now is earn money time. And I love working with lovable people which bring laughters to me. :)

2007-08-28T17:20:00.000+08:00

Some of them said my face becoming OL. Is that a blessing?

Anyway, forgot what I'd post in yesterday's post saying I will pass the module. I'll take the words back. This will be the first time I ever fail a module in my 3 years!

I'll pray hard (not sure to who) that my answers will appear to be more sensible than rubbish.

2007-08-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

How good can it be when I've been struggling with my life and playing along for the past 4 days. First came sore eyes, second nauseousness, third 2.4 aftermath body aches, forth no appetite, fifth choke with my own eye drops (you may lol). Because of all these, I gotta say that I still left ONE more paper to go which is tomorrow which should be over on last Friday which fell on the day I got all the sickness which is a module that I hate and the key thing is, it is a CORE module (give 5Zs for that).

I am the unlucky one. I still do not know how to calculate the 25 marks question. My friends must have been enjoying their holidays now and planning to earn money. :( I need some help. This speaks for not turning up for 8am lecture all the time. Mr Lam, I'll pass for you to see.

It will be over soon right? The paper is tomorrow 9.am sharp. Tsk.

Anyway, I can't stand people who takes note of what exactly you are doing and when she thinks that it is time to let it out, she let it out when it doesn't relate and make an effort to point her index finger at you (though you know that she is not so clever to do that). I don't wish to give any scenario cause it may sound dumb cause the person she herself is. I can't tolerate stepping the same place as her, seeing her, swallowing her actions and words. She is wonderful in her own eyes and a sore in others. I need to know how to get rid of her other than killing (let me know, if you need me to commit crime, forget about your plot then).

I am not this kind of person but I seriously hate her badly. Send hell to you.

2007-08-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

Blood Shot Eyes.

I got them since yesterday morning and it is contagious! I had got three days MC today. I can't study and sit for my paper tomorrow. Sigh! Faster get over and done with. I wanna relax.

I wanna learn photography badly. :(

2007-08-15T22:14:00.000+08:00

It has been one month since I've updated. Alright, it's nearly a month. (I predict that my next post I will be saying 'Alright, it has been two months since I've updated'. Then the subsequent posts I will mention about this again. ZZZ)

School has been busy! Performances are over for the time being. Got lots of screamings and tip offs from instructor and I hope that I will be more alert next time. Projects are finally finished and I am left with only presentations. The rain is over and I can see a little bit of sunshine now. :)

Two more papers left and I will be busy with my schedule again. My holidays will never be like holidays. It is time to earn money. But this time round, I will be going to Sabah for two weeks (Yes, Í've mentioned this alot of time. And don't ask me why my 'I' has a stroke above). I will surely miss alot of people. Hope that I won't be homesick. It's terrible.

Tomorrow is my paper and I'm still blogging. I have not studied yet! Last Minute Rules. I don't get how others studied till so hard starting off earlier than me, their results are often not so appealing. And scientists has proven that study a few hours before the paper or the last night before the paper will make you do better cause your mind are still 'fresh'.

Alot of pictures but lazy to upload here. Anyway, I better heed the advice from the scientists and study my FMM test tomorrow at 10am. Can make it right? I hope so.

Alright, at least one to cheer myself up a little.

2007-07-22T14:38:00.000+08:00

I feel that I do not have time for my blog now. I do visit every now and then but it becomes a routine to visit than to post anything. Yeah. I come here for the links.

Now I am poorer than usual as I do not work as often now. Maybe after 31st I still have to wait for another 22 days to get my PAY (eyes open big big).

Still busying with site visits. And the one taking up alot of time is now my trainings! I enjoy trainings but if I go to all trainings, I might not even be able to cope my studies especially projects and most importantly, WORK as well. No work = No income = No transportation = No food = Dieting Plan Hoorrayy!!

Met up with weiling yesterday since so long.... Although it is a short met up, it is still nice to know how she has been. :)

I shouldnt elaborate more wait till there is pictures.

Did I blog that I cut my hair again and changed to a boy's image? I thought it was really cool to have spikey hair to style it. But it turned out to be the other way. ZZZ.

2007-06-26T15:32:00.000+08:00

Yeay! It is exactly 14 days that since I've updated my blog. Somehow I am now at my friend's blog and her video is playing some news reporter reporting news. WEIRD.

School has re-opened! It still seem like a holiday to me cause for these two consecutive days, I've been doing absolutely nothing. Perhaps things like eat, sleep, monopolying, watch TV, eat, eat and sleep again. I'm like adapting to Pigs' life. Like I've said, I need a break and rest. HAHA.

Met up with GuoZhen, Priscillia and Simin recently. How dumb can I be? I mistook my gathering on 22nd as 23rd. I missed alot of my mates. Didn't get to meet up with Jorene and all. So sad. Anyway, good luck to all your common tests for SPians. : )

All of my friends are all going abroad. Simin leaving for Aust today. GuoZhen and Pris going off on July for further studies. And I will be leaving for Sabah in September to help young little kids build pre-schools. : (

Yeah it is good to catch up with old friends and see how much they've changed and grown up.

Nothing much to blog about, just knew that my projects are piling up again as usual. Nothing fresh.

I got my SpongeBOB plushie keychain!!!!!!!!!!! Phew, finally. : )

2007-06-12T00:54:00.000+08:00

ok, i will try to type in upper case and lower case form when necessary. here it goes........

Went CDA today. Saw alot of SCDF hunks! LOL. That is not what I wanna bring across. The most important thing is what I'd learn over there. I learnt how to do CPR, bandage primary wounds, treat immobilisation, fractures and all as first aiders. (: I reaaaally think it will be exciting to witness a person getting unconsious and you do chest compressions on him (or her if you think either way will be better?). One of my coursemates brought out that what if her bra is too tight? LOL. Nevertheless, most of the guys would suggesting removing it of course. But if i were a girl (I know you all will be thinking aren't I one now?) I think it would be sizzling hot to remove a girl's bra too. :) Not having you all getting any wrong idea.

SHREK 3 is superbSSS. Ogre babies and DRA-donkey-GON babies! Not revealing any further, please check it out yourself.

I really do NOT wish to go or attend something that requires me to fake a smile. I will never enjoy. So please, don't force me.

Aiya (tryig to cut down my singlish if you notice it), my holidays don't seem to be like one cause I'm too wedged with FYP, Work, Dance, Projects (those usual stuffs la). So when you all need to go out with me, must make one week appointment in advance, unfortunately I dislike last minute outing cause I know I will miss it apparently. :(

Ever thought of having your own ambitions? I'm a very ambitious person if anyone not knowing me well enough. Talked to William about building stuffs and found that I really have alot of scopes to choose from. And Lecturers tend to look down on students who do not do well in tests or exams. But do they reaaally understand what is the reason behind them not doing well? Why don't they not steorotype and give them a chance cause they may not be good in theory but better in practical? They may be decent in verbal absorption as compared to staring at the notes and memorise? Humans are borned to judge others fast enough before the person could explain anything.
Don't ever look down on yourself and keep thinking you are a loser. You will not be one if you don't think you are one. (:
Setting a goal really helps to drive you to your target. Set a higher goal. 'Aim to reach for the stars, if you can't reach, there is still a moon for you to reach.'
By the way, all the best to William for his new working life. It will be a great experience.

Thank you for people who will be beside me all the way. I appreciate it, truely.

I missed my test :(

2007-06-07T10:22:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it! I really can't believe it! I missed two Common Test twice in this week! All thanks to my wisdom teeth and I need to see the doctor again just for MC! :( Wisdom teeth are really giving me headaches and increase my body temperature. I was ready for today's Fire Safety Management Test cause i burnt midnight oil yesterday! GRRR.. But who knows when I wake up.... it hurts badly. And I wanna take the Test tomorrow cause I know I'm ready. I'm feeling really emo now. All i ask for is I hope Mr Soo will let me take the test tomorrow.

This had never happened in my life before. :(

2007-06-02T15:38:00.000+08:00

How busy can i be? BUSY is a word commonly used. People often misused it untill the word BUSY does not mean anything at all. Just like im saying 'I promise you' the word PROMISE is now empty in the inside. Tsk.

RMT and ENM assignment to be dued tomorrow and Ive not touched any. These two days have been occupied with my Champs Challenge and working till late nights and only get to get home at 2am. As for today I will finish at 3 or 4am? Monday and Tuesday is my Challenge and Tuesday i have FMM test! So how am I suppose to cope? Thanks for people who wants to support me. It will be a great experience for you too to see the gameplay. :)

i volunteered to help William and Mr Chan to collaborate with BCA and organise a competition of Green Building. Yes Yes, i love Green Buildings! :D Hope i can learn more in this. And not to forget, I will get to visit Solar Panels which is quite interesting to ME. (you all can choose to ignore this. *shows a cute smiley face)

I always think Im a superwoman. Yeah Ive lost to my own. Stand strong, beloved heart.

Yeah, a big hi to peiyi back. lazy to reply taggersssssssss.

Please do not throw me in a sea of unfamiliar faces. I do not know how to react. Im no longer the same.

2007-05-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

today juliet organised a site visit to LOT 1. can you imagine? a place that ive been familiarised with and my usual hang out (sound wrong right? hang out at lot 1. *gives me a weird look) but the sSSsadASS thing i see in people is they do not have sense of urgency. i just dont see it when somebody is staring at you and waiting for you to walk faster instead of just standing on the trolley elevator (and you know it moves really slow) kinda deprived to see how humans react in things and not appreciating it.
take note: 'YOU' not only refers to one people.
anyway the key point is, i get to know how LOT 1 operates their mall! lol. bribe me and then i'll tell you. PROBABLY? i would like to have more site visits. :)

im now like an auntie. dont have any happening events going on now. even so, i also never join or go cause im too caught up with studies! and 7 days a week is not enough. can we like have 10 days a week to outfit for people like me? SIGH. im not lamenting but i just think that i do not have enough time to do so many things at a time and compromise for so many people around me like making things easier for their poor time management.

yeah, i still wanna bring this about people having more sense of urgency, please compromise when theres a need to, dont oppose when theres not a need to, dont be selfish when theres not a need to and accept what others think of you which actually you think you are. alright? we are not perfect for now, but at least make a change to let people accept you. so our lives will be easier. :) people does harmless gossips.

ive been missing dance. i cant wait to dance after common test which will be 2 weeks later. no choice i gotta practice at home. yea, i wanna learn how to play saxophone! but this MACHINE cost 2000++? that expensive. no wonder it produces sexy tune. woh..

to update. i do not have any camera phone now. as in i have it but it is now a redundant item on my study table. this time round must be the charger having problem. cannot camwhore LIAOS LEIS. sigh.

and my body condition is not as healthy as before. i hope i will be more healthy and not fainting and having headaches. get well soon to me :)

and also, republic polytechnic is so green! they really conserve alot of energy and they uses plants everywhere.

A LONG POST. BON VOYAGE TO MY PARENTS. :)

alright picture of the day:

THANK YOU.

2007-05-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

thanks for letting me know hows my performance.
thanks for changing me from a retard person to someone that is not that retard now.
thanks for boosting my passion for dance. :D
thanks for making class fun.
thanks for not making me dont dare to talk to you anymore.
thanks for your patience.
thanks for setting a goal for me to let me do better for my turnings.

i will practise more on icebox.

thank you big ann, love you LOTS.

2007-05-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

i wanna go sabah! on september. if i dont go i will be a dumb-ASS. school subsidies, i must carry abit of singaporeans attitude. :D
i couldnt wait for this trip. helping needy children to build schools, educating them, getting tanned, retail therapy (hardly), losing weight, nicer complexion. WHY NOT (magic word)? cheap deals.

no projects have not been ever ending. trying to adjust to my school life now. life is still as busy. so DONT ask me 'Hows Life Hottie?'//still dont get it? refer to my profile pigture. HAHAHAHA.

this week got so many things to do. yeah. one more thing, nra camp is coming. i think this year will be an enjoyable and interesting one. cant wait for the night walks! :)

short entry though. gotta chiong ah.

happy belated mothers' day. happy belated birthday weiling. happy advance birthday yatie. LOVES

2007-05-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

hi, im here to rant again. gym, dance, school, assignments, coming champs challenge and work are words i can describe now. i no longer have energy to type more.

i dont see any colours in my life. :(

2007-05-01T14:36:00.001+08:00

lets get into something serious. this can be my turning point of life. there is no longer parties for me, enjoying and hanging out with loves. studies is something that is vital now.

dance is what i wanna enjoy more and more. i only can afford to salt away two days for that (not more), or else i may not be able to cope with my assignments. this is the first time i ever felt this way in poly life and i know everything is about to begin and im not the same as before. no more excuses on doing last minute shit work. i only need to swallow this for another ten months and i will be alright.

practice makes perfect. no rush to do anything. take everything nice and slow.

HAPPY LABOR DAY! remember, it is not a day whereby everyone gives birth, retard friend. LOL.

2007-04-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

yo yo yo! one week never blog. it seems like i only blog in weekly basis.

something worse ever occured on me. I passed out in my own toilet! freaking scary man. i was having an outrageous stomachache in the morning and decided to ignore it and continue my beauty sleep cause ive overworked myself too much(i guess? let me know if you think i am (:). i went to the toilet thought i could release my bowels but i "slept" instead. my whole body was leaning towards the floor and when i woke up, all i could see was black vision. i thought im going blind and i did not know where am i, what am i doing and what was going on. my sweat turned cold and got my shirt drenched. i woke myself up and finally i could see myself supporting on my washing machine in front and recalling what had happened. before i could react, i knew that i was going to pass out again. my breathing began to increase to the tip and about to collapse on the floor, but i told myself, i must be persistent, i wont fall that easily.

thought of calling the ambulance, but abit wrong cause i think will be kinda funny to say "erm, im going to faint now, can you plss..sss..pleeeaasse come over to BLK....?"

thought of just let myself passed out and leave myself lying on the toilet floor but abit weird also cause i never sit on my toilet floor or lie on the floor before. and when my sister which was still sleeping at that point of time happened to discover that i never wear pants how? wa. darn awkard. she will get to see my TOOTS.

in the end i shitted and i think im ok now? those who knows keep calling me go see doctor and think i got some disease or something. EH, dont scare me lei.

============================================

sigh. im always so reckless. i nearly got knocked down by cars also because im too lazy to look out for those wheels accelerating towards me.

school has been busy. after school always have more things coming up keeping me not that free. FYP is killing me, but i wont die so soon.

tomorrow meeting veron. i wanna get new wallet, make new ez-link card so that i can enter our new gym in BLK 16! darn cool man, looks better than california fitness.

i cut my hair short again. HAHA. dont kill me.

i got this icebox where my heart used to be. HAHA. go watch the video. i think timbaland looks very cold in this video.

:))

school starts LIAOs!

2007-04-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

school just started. lecture is as usual and today i ate two full meals! die. and i hate the feeling of school has started and i need to squeeze into packed canteens, everywhere you go people started staring at you. the worse thing it had been is, im in t3d4. not in t3d3. so sad! im not in the same class as my usual clique. left me, johnson and faiz together. what if both of them ponteng? i will be a lonerZZZZ. ARG. i dont want it be this way!

iwantattachmentiwantattachmentiwantattachment. BADLY.

nothing interesting happen lately. always been work, dance and work again. wa i too stress at work until i dreamt of getting fired by my restaurant manager and i cried in my sleep begging her to let me stay. WTF. never in real life will i lay my knees on the floor.

recently ive spent 63 tollars on a dress. the dress abit too expensive for the quality given. but it looks nice on me so i splurge it. i regretted cause i wanted to spend it on something more meaningful like something i need it more for school rather than go out. i need sports bag and black slippers. *i hate to wear shoes unless i dance.

hmmm. yea dont ever watch SUNSHINE unless you are competent in astrology. so whole thing seems to be so UNunderstandable(got such word meh?) and i thought michelle yeoh will be like WOAH in the movie but i seemed to be the reversed angle as it is.

see my leg cramp again. sigh. tiring day. school at 12pm tml. trying to adapt a new school life. *thanks yatie for the ride. IF i GOT motor you pillion me ok? IF......

ELEVAN A.M.

2007-04-10T11:04:00.000+08:00

now is elevan a.m. in the morning? shit. i only slept for 6 hours? where does my the other 6 hours go to? TSK.

btw, i keep finding GEORGE hot LA. saw him twice in person and everytime i see him, our distance apart is like lesser than 2m at the most? in the train he was reading a book and he looks so mature, not young and sunshine. man! the other day was at sentosa, he was tanning just below[as in not directly below my legs? only lesser than 2m apart. tsk, only people like jen gets the wrong idea] me! hope that he noticed me and accepts me to be his mistress or girlfriend. LOL. or maybe i hope that he will go to yahoo or google singapore search and type his name and my blog happened to mention his name comes up in the search engine? wa, then i will be famous liaos.
ALRIGHT, PEOPLE, YOU ALL CAN START KOWTOW TO ME, I WILL BE FAMOUS SOON!!!!!!!!

think too much! Elbow my face. :( but can reach meh like that?

guess im going crazy soon. rushing 5 reports in 3 consecutive days. one report around 3 hours. im so busy. anyway its over now. yeay. more reports for FYP can train my typing skills, one minute for a thousand characters.

i found this butt exercise from women's fitness or health? :/ Definitely will make butt more protruding out than before. Girls can ask me for tips. :))

still elevan a.m. :(

2007-04-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

just came back from dance. dont feel like bathing. recently keep having late nights. tomorrow gyming with zal. yes!! i think im nearing to what i want.

lazy to update.

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

2007-03-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

NYDC

me and guo zhen started off kissing while shiying and xiao hong missed that chance to see it. LMAO.

my master and zin mar craving for more cookies from cookie monster.

can you believe that this cake has a name too? YES! my BOO bOO.

some people do miss their bfs sometimes. alright, we understand. ;)

ok its time to dance at nydc. *sounds so wrong. tsk.

okok. cheese everybody. no more monkeyshines.

dont provoke me hor! i elbow you. [my slogan] LOl. dont see my master like that hor, she got 6 packs lei. :(( kill you. GRRRrr.

cookie monster is dying!!! :(

oops wrong photo. this should not be here. anyway. this teapot thingy is interesting. we only can brew the chinese tea leaves for like 5 times? and the waitress not flexible enough. they need to pour the hot water like 5 times? and we are heavy drinkers i suppose? see the height of the cups before you judge. hmmm. 3cm tall. tsk.

dont beat my gogo!

i was trying to snatch cookie monster from master. LOL.

ESSENTIAL AND BREW

pris is reading the mer-nu. not ma niu! is korlleague[colleague]. not kerlleague!

guess what they are doing? doing forfeits lor. trying so hard to say hi to the strangers below.

i miss guo zhen. she used to cut my nails though. :(

shi ying in purple. the lamest girl of the day.

lastly, me! camwhore. sigh!

anyway, just came back from dance. kinda tiring. *yah right, i have been slacking whole day at home.

met up with master all at nydc on saturday. i was late by abit, like an hour? LOL. glad that they never really get du lan with me. nydc's service is really bad. there was like 8 of us and we were insisted to sit 4 by 4 seperate tables. not that they do not have ample seats. they refused to open the seats at the upper level until 7pm. we have to shout across a table length. what the... set this aside, we managed to sit at the upper level eventually.

chilled at essential and brew later on. wait, who was the one who told me that it is called essential blues? tsk. :/ it is really a nice place to hang out in big groups. alot of forfeits and chortling. cant wait to meet up with them again. should not explain further since the pictures have done the head start.

met up with princeza after that, we watched pathfinder. its worth comparing with apocalypto. nice nice.

happy day. :))

editted// the word shout* i typed short previously. :D

dang dang dang dang!!

2007-03-24T01:02:00.000+08:00

die. now is 1.02am. going changi airport and holland v tomorrow. still must wake up at 10am. no break at all.

yea. after completing 12 CCs, i still got another 8 to start with. they will be obs, nacli, sea sports club and nyc. it will be a tough attachment for me. i thought maybe can slack awhile thats why me and johnson chiong.

and i think i really need to train my techniques. my turning still not good. what to do. i got maybe 6 months to work harder to prove myself. practice makes peerrfeecct. i keep saying but always didnt give myself enough time to practise and concentrate in other stuffs. i got too much things to focus on. yea im loving dance more and more. im anticipated! (:

i wanna train my triceps so it wont go bamyoong! LOL. see see see, this is what i mean. focus on triceps and neglect turnings. if i focus too much on dance i will neglect earning money. if i focus on studies i will neglect earning money and dance. so tell me what should i do.

and recently i turn very violent around people. i bite them, i punch them and pinch them. some typical violent girl. LOL. i violent la.

anyway tomorrow meeting jorene priscillia shiying guozhen huiwen and janicia. cant wait to see them! i often dream of them and YES i miss them loads.

yea. these things happened to come to my mind.

self ish

2007-03-17T06:27:00.000+08:00

friday night was not as fun as i expected. im sick of nightlife. i ve been saying this but i still go club. all because i dont wish to let my friends down. i ve realised i ve always been putting friends first.

after zouk, i took cab home. i only left with a pity of $14.20. i asked that taxi driver. he insisted saying not enough. but i believed from my house to grand copthorne does not cost much. i was kinda irritated and i no longer has the strength to rebutt anymore. alright, so i told him, when about to reach 14 dollars just drop me anywhere and he said OK! ZZomgg. stingy taxi driver.
the meter was 6.70 before i turned to see again when passing an0ther traffic light which was 7.20. the meter runs so fast la. kns. die liaos. going to reach 14 bucks which im aware of. i thought i can have some mercy from him and he will send me from courts to bukit panjang which is rather impossible to assume.

he turned and said: how ahH? now 14.25 dollars ready. not enough lei. i also cannot send you to bukit panjang. you must get down.

me replied restlessly: just pull over. but i only got 14.20. SORRY no 5 CENTS. [i stressed the word 5 cents to be sarcastic]

so im left on the bus stop for around 2 hours. the night was lonely and i dont believe that i felt so weak and teared. my both sleeves were stained with eyeliner and tear. i was lucky enough to spot a helmet. i thought god was trying to help so i thought of elfe to fetch. and what i got was im tired as an answer. i wanna say no more. i dont want this to be an emo entry. and thanks zal, i ve forgotten that you are working on sat.

conclusion for today. i dont trust friends anymore. i ve seen through them. so do they actually worth me sacrificing?

6.42am liaos. i would like to sleep and dont emo.

i belive im strong.

2007-03-06T11:54:00.000+08:00

GYM GYM GYM! i cant stop. anyway yesterday was a great day with weiling. :) took alot of pictures. but too lazy to update.

bukit panjang has encounter a slight earthquake at 11.49am. i was using laptop and suddenly i felt giddy cos everything seems to be moving. i turned and look outside the window, the opposite block of mine are swaying too. just then, i thought what will i do if this were to encounter. i ran to my sis and ask her whether she felt it too. yes, she did and she thought that she was fainting. my handphone came to no reception. i looked at the sky trying to sense anything imitating jaguar paw. i hope that we will not be the next facing natural disaster. bad. real bad. hope the world will be in peace. i believe everyone at the point of time felt it too. let's pray hard.

monster

2007-03-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

i usually dream that im a swimming champion. i can swim across the sea, dive and get in contact with the fishes. and even dreamt of beating anyone else when swimming and left people with their jaw-dropped. those swimming pools in my fantasy are those fancy ones. like exceptionally jigsaw playground by the side, broken tracks on the pool. woh. you know, dreamfairies often come out with something creative so you will not feel bored while sleeping.

of which today i did it by 6 laps in my life, not in my dream though, tsk. not that many but i ve done it with an anticipating mind. i assume that my dream is a sign that i might become a swimming medalist someday? i will be muscular and look like an incredible angeline [might look like a monster to some of you] =/

yeah. i really wanna be muscular. but everyone around me objects. maybe not muscular until i look like some wrestlers when they walk? perhaps more tone at the triceps, flat stomach and more muscular thighs? sigh! i will look bigger if i carry weights now. what should i do? i hate jogging ONLY. if im muscular i look so bulky when i dance. dreamfairy, let me dream again....

im so weird. why cant i be other normal girls? just love to stay at home and shopping. being extraordinary so not easy.

monday will be gym with weiling. see how it work again. :)

the second one will be me in future. cause she looks more asian to me compared to the rest. LOL.

2007-02-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

i ve been overworking myself. first attachment, second barbeque at chuan gardens, third a night at zouk, forth a morning in grand copthorne, fifth work again. looking forward next is tanning tomorrow. :)

i didnt regret attending my class' gathering cause i found out alot of things from each and everyone of some whom im not close to. wenping and cheryl has already left for OIAP to china. *envy. all thanks to me always feeling lethargic that made me ended up in ITP. and spoke to my project manager about being an architect. it requires 6 years of bachelor then master degree to be just a design architect. by the time i will be 26 to 27 years old! darn, i wanna be successful before im 30. seems unlikely to make a huge jump. perhaps i will start off as a fire safety manager for SCDF and then quantity surveryor. its always good to start from scratch.

and yea my dream is to be successful once again and give my parents a good life. they deserve this from me.

this collided me when i was wondering an unusual scene at mrt why does some uncles and aunties are squeezing me with flyers. johnson joked about they are too rich and just wanna kill their time outside ICA building. the eager of finishing giving out the flyers in their eyes touched me. should i not say this is how they want their life to be?

please treasure your parents.

we are all happy to be handicaps. :)

B9. the handle bar is long enough for kids to reach.. the glass is....

yes! i wanna win a dragon boater.

johnson take B22. quick!

class bbq. liyan's outing.

shall we slap her? we dont know yet. :/

my back is caught in camera instead cos nick said that im short still need to kneel down meh. duh!

cheese.

nice mirror.

i salute that guy behind me. he elbowed my head early in the morning.

not many pigtures cause i took one hour to blog this. kns. blogger darn lag.

im happy with my life now. what more could i ask for?

2007-02-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

ITP ITP ITP ITP HOIK!

2007-02-22T18:59:00.000+08:00

Today is my second day of attachment at people’s association. It is sort of a trial at toa payoh CC. Tiring day indeed. I enjoyed my job so far! Our hours are so flexible and we can choose to start what time as long as we complete taking pictures, identifying faults as well as implementations in the CCs. 450. tsk, not that bad at all. And of all 104 CCs in sin jia po, we going to settle 36 CCs with universal barrier free for the deafs, mutes, pregnant ladies, handicaps, elderly and so on! In 5 years later, this is gotta to be a hot project in town! Muahahaaa. Money money come come. =D and its only yesterday that I get to know actually town councils are not related to people’s association at all.

I missed tanning. And tomorrow is my class BBQ! Cant wait. Must get all the food with Johnson tomorrow. Sigh! Chocolate mountain here I come! LOL.

Attachment in a week: -
Working hours: 8.30 till 6
Working days: 5 days
Eat snake time: during working hours
Resting time: less than 24 hours
Jalan jalan time: less than 12 hours
Results: be professional architect in 5 years. :J

LOL.

I need more t-shirts, flats, jeans for attachment. Sigh. I cant stop perspiring and my job is not easy ok! Anyway mine is better than the others sitting in the office doing database or read any shit files. O-be-good.

I pledge that I will recognize all the faults and implement suggestive universal barriers for kreta ayer, anchorvale, geylang and other unknown CCs and wear my 100 bucks worth pass proudly. (this is not the actual pledge though)

okok. happy niu ear. gong xi huat choy. and targetted ang pao money, 1000++ must win nicholas. grrr.

2007-02-17T17:13:00.000+08:00

homes sweet home finally. feeling so good when busying one whole morning and the next second i know is. The reunion dinner! another year has passed and this year's chinese new year will be the most ang paos of all the year. LOL. most importantly i feel the sense of love within my family.

happy chinese new year. i need a break.

2007-02-14T17:04:00.000+08:00

congratulations. i screwed up my whole financial resource management paper. students walking in at the beginning of the paper distracted me. students leaving the exam room distracted me. invigilators speaking among themselves do not get me working. this invigilator suspecting whether i am an immigrant to sit for somebody else's paper. and im prepared to re take this module next semester. congratulations once again, for failing a module for that virginity.

2007-02-10T15:25:00.000+08:00

HI, im angeline (: today's paper was property management at 9. all the while i thought the paper was at 3. as usual, burnt midnight oil and im so satisfied that i can make it for the paper.

one more paper down to go on valentine's day. wish me luck.

2007-02-03T00:35:00.000+08:00

The pigtures. not in any order. cause i dont know how to arrange it thou im kinda old to blogger. spare me k? :)

ok. i got a poster at the back. thats owen. im a liverpool fan last time! haH.

monkey doing stunt! he is exceptionally fierce. *i dont think its a she.

when junk food meets ribbon. 'hi, tie me up and i'll spare you.'

i wished i could focus more to the steak than her. =/ lmbo

today your reading is..

only one rose?

i acted as if i prefer flowers than chocolates. :x

artistic.

shirley temple. *shirley doesnt own one though. LOL.

when darkness turns to light.

it ends tonight.

darn. this chorus has been flowing through my head 24/7. nice song by AAR. all americans reject. all american rejects? whatever it may seem. lol. double smileys for fish for the song. :) :) exams next sat and wed. buck up man. i ve change my resolution. cause i probably cant get 3 for gpa. perhaps aiming for slightly better for last sem?

i ve just realised that i miss my secondary school friends. hell not. do they feel the same way too? :((

its not time to start mugging yet. perhaps i will start on friday night? so meanwhile im having holidays now.

attachment! so excited about it. i will get to travel around community centers all the time. cool. and im being paid at 450. the highest pay among the rest. fine then. 10 bucks more. bought office wear but in this case i think i shall allow fungal growth as my attachment no need that formal. darn sad. i wanna experience how it is to be an office girl but here goes my chance.

random post again.

im enlightened.

2007-01-27T02:17:00.000+08:00

today is human's philosophy day. x)

getting angry and complaining about how you ended up being this way are not remedies. why dont you make use of the time and think about how to improve your life and make it better? dont blame your parents for bringing yourself down cause you are the one controlling your own life. not them! no one's there to cease you.

and laughing at people's sorrow is really omigosshhhH! hire a priest to do some bomoh on me and laugh at it when you see me suffering. what do you gain in the end? punishment to be burnt in some hot sulphur?

committing suicide when you cant take it anymore. people out there trying to get a life. donate your life to them pleeaasse.

thinking you are not good enough to do something? improve and stop whining. patience helps and i dont deny everywhere you go, its competitive. you are living in a materialistic world. dont you sense it? too bad you are borned in this century. *i've regretted too. :(

its ok to smoke, drink and do some yam sengs! but do it moderately. once in a while its ok. but doing it too often might be abit too wrong. money is not easy to earn do you know that?

hating a person is easy. to forgive the person is difficult. losing a friend and gaining an enemy is a loss. why dont you just hide your that particular sense of sight and forgive the person to gain one more friend? you can do that, you might be at the next level to deities.

religions religions religions. which is the real one? i cant make up my mind till now.

do not look down on people even prostitutes. you are stereotyping them way like a flying jet. everything they do, they have their own woes.

life is so wonderful isnt it? enjoy it to your fullest and take things once at a time. it might be better for you.

we are not really borned to be suffered down here.

2007-01-25T13:49:00.000+08:00

no more valentine's day for me. no more sweet talkings. no more dating. no more going out with guys and getting to know more about one another. THANKS. ANGELINE HUANG XIU LING ENJOYS SINGLE LIFE AND HATED GOING OUT WITH A GUY IN ALL THE GUYS AND SHE MIGHT TURN TO A LES ANY TIME. BEWARE!

dont disturb me anymore. no roses. no poems. no holding hands. no more hugs. and no more smooching or whatever!

concentrate in my life and head on. yes! no more v day unless dwayne is mine! :X

should i go for some tarot reading?

dwayne attachment johnson rock the.

2007-01-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

im in love with hot dwayne johnson. its always when he dont look like a rock. hot and sexy.

ahh. and my attachment is at 9 stadium link, people's association. no idea where is it. is it at bedok? omigosh! its so far from my house! very very far! i wanna complain! :(( i dont want anymore attachment.

iwannajumpdowniwannajunpdown.attachmentsucksattachmentsucks.

a day at ___

2007-01-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

trying to emphasize my body. but doesnt really look like this in real. lmbo! haha.

i wanted to mozart my face but i dont know how.

hungry girl. veron

borgh.

she didnt kiss me in the end. :(

hungry girl. angel

missed!

2007-01-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

i really cant stand people who are TOO over confident in themselves, think they are very pearrllfact. and everything to them must be so serious. they believed that they will try to shield jerry if tom was to chase him. come on! you get out of my life. i hate being around with you again!

theres nothing wrong to hate being alone. fuack you.

i dont know what thing is that call. merry-go-round? at west coast park. field trip isnt that bad. and theres a trick when you play merry-go-round. hold the bar away from you like an arm's length, and move closer to one another to your mates, the whole thing will go faster and faster and will result in serious nauseous and giddiness after that. trust me. i was the sole survivor. kns. chao eric.

i find that im too observant in everyone around me. and i got this so call special power to tell what the person is thinking. i dont appear to be one but yea another trick to it. and thats why i cant find any true friends yet. not really have any obsession to find any. and i dont get it sometimes i ended up having more guy friends and the girl friends around me are outmoded.

i wanna find back my true self. my old passion. not to let emotions take over my mind. concentration is the only thing. i wanna dance. i hope people around me be optimistic. and i missed the old times during dance classes. :(

i wanna go gym too. and swimming. to tone up my body. shit. i wanna do so many things in a time. i should stop trying to be good at everything and thinking i am good at everything.

my feelings are going downhill now.

omigosh

2007-01-07T03:50:00.000+08:00

yes i did it by grabbing his head. hiak hiak hiak.

i now i getting hold of his ****. he cant run now.

my shiny hair. drools.

zal trying to be kawaii. sigh.

dang. my hair is gone. but im kinda satisfied. its so cooling now. and im glad that ive made the right choice. :)) thanks to celeste hairdresser. hope that my hair wont be curly please. i dont wanna rebond. :( have short hair is not bad too. so in case of any fuackin people wanna pull my hair will not be that easy. and my head feel so light. its as if they may fly off anytime. woowahh.

LMAO.

goodbye my long hair. :(

2007-01-05T16:29:00.000+08:00

75 for treatment. 65 for bleaching. 75 for dying. additional cash for highlight. but all these does not guarantee that my hair will come out my desire color. :( goodbye to my long curls and say hi to my very very short hair. should i or should i not? my hair already reaching the 10th stage going to join 'seaweed hair' category.

sorry my pretty hair, for not taking care of you properly.

sorry my pretty hair, for taking you for granted.

sorry my pretty hair, i wont let you hide my shame anymore.

sorry my pretty hair, for letting my folks touch you without your permission.

sorry my pretty hair, for using you to hit my friends.

sorry my pretty hair, sad to tell you sometimes you also hit me unknowingly.

sorry my pretty hair, you always make me perspire complaining winter is better than rain.

so final verdict, in order to get a healthy hair, get able to dye any color i want hair, get cooling hair, i will cut a short hair. :(. :) dont care about my looks and look awful. sigh. sorry people if you all disagree. stop me if its not too late. sigh and sigh and i shall sigh. :((

and another good news, MOS found the culprit who swallowed our bags! i no need to spend 100 bucks on I/C. i no need to make new keys. i no need to miss my leopard print purse. i no need to get new MNG bag. i no need to buy new make up set. i no need to miss my taiwan mirror. i no need to bring my report all around telling people YES! im 19. BbBbAAaaaHHh!!!!

and next april i make sure im going to thailand. i envy people who went there to shop. thanks fid for the pouch and the necklace.

i really mean short hair like this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my BROTHER, THOMAS! :)

i dragged my fingers to blog this. :(

2007-01-02T12:09:00.000+08:00

im too used to the night life. die. now, i only can manage to sleep at around 4am in the morning and wakes up around this timing. going club 2 days in a week really sucks. and trusting my bag to the attendant and losing it considering a heartbreak. as well as shir's and jon's. and we will hold that attendant responsible for that.

thanks for the x'mas present butter. i still owe you all. provided you all get to remind me about it. :))

kinda sad that cant get to perform for charity show cause im really too occupied with loads of projects. better start working. i wanna get 4 for gpa. =x

and HAPPY 2007!

and again, my resolution:

pls refer to my x'mas wishlist also. x)
get 4 for gpa.
dance well. and i mean really well.
not to get influenced by people.
no more emo sickness.
spend more time with my loves.
take care of my things PROPERLY.
do not trust mos bag attendant. >=(
shopping shopping shopping.
miinii afrooo haiir.
take bicycle license.
stop listening to r and b songs.
to find clubbing boring. *though its kinda hard
lend a helping hand if my friends are in trouble.
learn to appreciate people for things that they ve done for you.
no more falling in love.

thats about it. not really as materialistic as my x'mas list thou. i dont wanna wish to come true but working on it to make it happen.

mary xmas

2006-12-25T14:45:00.000+08:00

mary krismas!

durian log cakes. buffalo wings. spicy drumlets. pizzas!

just no turkey.

i love my dinner with my family. and i got a nice elegant clutch from my sister. *though i got you a towel so you can share it with irvin. x) and night at wala wala is really relaxing. all making monkeyshines on the fries. and calling out for apple hong excitedly. shes there anyway. :) got psychoed to buy choco martini. :( isnt that fine at all. got a ride from jen's dad. thanks!

ultimate durain log cake. the tree can be eaten. =x

jess looks ugly. jen dont look like apple hong. the last one, she is a chick. x)

she thought that she is that gorgeous.

asahi?

cant wait to get more presents. :) and im awaiting for 27th and 30th night.

hohoho.

X'mas

2006-12-21T13:10:00.000+08:00

4 more days to x'mas. :) love.

this year's x'mas, i wanna it to be different. no more partying, no more squeezing with sweaty arms, no more getting groped, no more getting sprayed at and no more smelling some body scent. i wanna celebrate with my loves and bring smiles to their faces. love mom and dad! we shall have durian log cakes and turkey? i will be broke. :(( and presents for my siblings.

wishlist for x'mas:

skinny jeans

more dress tops

white shoes

more clutches

heels hills!

wheres my 1000 bucks? :(

free ticketSS to bangkok

spend more time with my family

silky lingerie

more body art

thats it. i dont ask for much. i know theres people still owe me birthday presentSS. so you all can make it up for x'mas.

not everyone's x'mas is white.

2006-12-18T13:47:00.000+08:00

hi, im santiago.

'i live between argentina and brazil.
im not good at english so i dont get what you are trying to say.
i work in st james' power station.
í got a band.
i play latin music over there from mon to sat.
im 43 years old.'

he is an interesting guy. he seems like some sort of kyle glass project in tenac-acious d. what was so appealing was i need to communicate simple english with him. and his look categorically defeats his age.

i just go crazy over caucasians. dont ask me why. :(

2006-12-16T07:48:00.000+08:00

happy birthday daddy and mommy! i love you all. <33

pigtures!

2006-12-12T02:53:00.000+08:00

advertising for some SK II ad. pardon us. :((

it was 8 am by then.

alex wearing agreeable snowcap with the guy who peaces.

xiang, stop peacing. and they are purple gays.

this guy is hot. though if you think he's not.

shir was kinda sweaty. xiang abit kawaii nehx.

this is the red ice.

the moving motion beside me was cool! i wanna shake shake....

her hand was burning that night. lmao.

two reindeers. im the rainbow. the other one dont look like santa at all. :(

our mouths were filled with 15 roaches if im not wrong. x)

jumpjumpjumpjumpjumpjump!

we thought that this background was not bad. :)

me and jess~

this is my overview for my week. and there are actually more. and i cant wait for the whosgoing pigtures to be up too! :)) nights everyone.

and i want my christmas like i've never had any before.

a very short post

2006-12-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

tuesday butter factory. friday sp and holland v. sat milkshake. im becoming a vampire soon. living in the night. i got tonnes and tonnes of pictures to show. will upload soon when i got the time. and i really love to take pigchers. im having fun. :))

and i got one more paper to go! financial relation. hopefully will do well. this sem i really wanna get good gpa. see, i've told you all. im a good leaf now. neh!

'i got some undefined feelings that i do not wish to explain.
and
i've never been this way before.'

2006-12-03T13:28:00.000+08:00

wanted to shop but now, ive been announced bankrupt! its ok. 3 more days i will be affluent again.

eski bar was really not hot. but they got some weird smell. the snow city smell? i got no idea how they function all the low temperatures but would like to learn about it. and white wine sucks. maybe i just do not know how to welcome it.

i found that the true god is within everyone's soul. the real god is you. and god is the same age as earth. and earth is the same age as the universe. and list will be going on fuackin long.

and i find that its ok to be if you call that lonely. and people out there should be in no doubt of the stuffs they do instead of thinking in denial. if you wanna achieve it, practise it then. prove to what you think is beyond it. just like pratising using keyboard for your reports then hand-written cause you know that your fingers are that retard. and also just like people, some tend to be asking more for meeting new people and some will react as if they are standing near a flame. its all about this toy call confidence.

yea. hope you all?-will understand. anyway, i just cant wait to go butter factory on tuesday. i dont have any blings. shit.

they might kill you. :(

im a happy people.

2006-11-28T15:05:00.000+08:00

surprises, surprises, surprises! im happy to have great people around me. :)) my weekend was indeed fabulous. love those surprising cable car rides, initial lame show at musical fountain, merlion with supernatural laser eyes shooting bulls' eyes as well, surprisingly relaxing at the beach with solid fuel, gazing at plutos.

and club with girls are indeed love. thanks for keegan all who sacrificed to come down too. and zong all for the nice music. and poor keegan he got to stay till so late and got pang seh by charn all. EVIL. sorry we didnt mean to be so foul to you. and dancing at podium with disgusting trans! shim is disgusting. its a shim shim shim! pukes. shim sorta pushed us off. peiying and jess landed on me. fuack you. so what u got money to hang those silicons on you? we fuack care whether you wanna bring your man down. your disgusting mole at your back. your disgusting butt. disgusting outfit. disgusting manly figure. disgusting unproportionate legs. i would not even care about you if you had just leave us alone. i'll push you off the podium next time i see you.

put that disgusting shim aside. im realli so pissed with shim. i wanna go milkshake. :))

yesterday evening, met up with weiling and charrs at glass house for my after-20days belated birthday celebration :) i was darn late. love all the laughters. fish & co was cool there and astoundingly, i noticed i was then standing on the chair and got birthday song from the staffs there! and followed by a cake! im really grateful for everything you all have done and i didnt expect presents and a cake to come along. i just found out that im so blessed. i shall repay you all SOME other time. LOL.

actually theres more pictures to come along but fuackin blogger just cant get them to work over here. i want many many surprises again lei. lmao. lazy to blog more. fatigue is taking a real toll on me.

people who refuse to say thank you or appreciate for me waiting for you and press for the lift, hell to you.

2006-11-21T18:47:00.000+08:00

saturday night was immoral. spent most of the time sleeping than dancing. so inebriated. thanks to keegan for his birthday treat. and friends out there to take care of me. i cant control it but to let out all the liquid in my empty stomach. awful taste. yucks. and sorry to people that i did not dance or dance not much with you all.

a great change in my i-tunes. got dabin to transfer me sentimental songs. love it. elvis presley. beach boys. katie melua. julie london. their epoch. woots. and finally got that kokomo. the song so cute la! and i shall let old gilbert knows that we dont go disco anymore. lol.

happy birthday to big ann! we love you. :)) and happy birthday to mr zal's dad. lmao.

next mon weiling and charrs. a day i'll be looking forward to. you all shall get me birthday cake. thou its a little too late. :))

disgusting pervert who dared to squeeze his (.)(.) in front of me. swear that your bird grows trillions fungus on it.

2006-11-17T13:04:00.000+08:00

nowadays ive been so bad tempered. i blow out kinda easily especially at work. probably i cant take it anymore. why cant people have a sense of urgency and can just take their own sweet time during work? they are being paid and why do they dont take work so seriously but still can fool around? why cant they just go along my way and make everything easier for us and the customers? yea some customers are kinda irritating. and why must we fake our smiles to give them 100%? im tired of working in service line. i got to approach people. serve people. look at other people's face. go according to their demands. study masflow's hierachy so to know whats their needs. why is there different types of people in the world? sorry. if you find this disturbing.

i want kokomo.

2006-11-17T10:46:00.000+08:00

it has been five days since nra danzation! glad to say that our production was a success. we teared. we worked hard. we laughed. we screamed. we trying hard to get high.

i wanna thank ann- i think she is magnificent. imagine she choreoed around more than 10 items. though she is suffering from injury shes still there for us. sorry for tearing for us. sorry for planting more white hairS on you. your tears are not worthless. we love you.

my family- though my dad didnt turn up, im absolutely pleased for you all being there to watch me and give me compliments. and sorry for not spending element time with you all. but i still love you all.

friends- those who were present on any two days. though some didnt get tickets from me, i was kinda shocked you all were there. anyway, thanks again for telling me that its a hit and overall is marvellous. i'll remember that. :)) and to friends they have been understanding about me taking dance as priority than going out. i know its been hard on you.

classmates and lecturer- im not as close as you all but i really appreciate you all for coming. i didnt know you all were that supportive. :) eunice, glad that you stayed till the end of the show though you told me you need to do some lesson plan for the next day. i really do not know how to thank you. i must be back on track for tutorials liaox. :(

our effort are all not wasted! im fortunate to be in nra. love everyone over there. danzation, we dream and achieve.

===========================================

i attended my company's dinner and dance two days ago. and i got a bun on my right forehead! ouch! so ugly. i was ready to dress up and i opened my wardrobe. fair enough, the door fell down on me! vertically on my forehead. such a sore. i was so afraid it will leave me an appalling blue black. so i rushed to the mirror to see my sorry forehead. and when i saw,
fuack fuack fuack fuack fuack
it left me a scar. i was cursing all the way for the good deed of that loosen door heige [did i spell it correctly?] luckily im borned with left side parting. [hopefully nobody noticed it in the ballroom] it IS doing some miracle to it. faster heal please. i dont want my friends to think that im trying to look like LUOHAN. :((

lmao lmao lmao. laugh my ass off. ive learnt a new word. kinda dumb. all the while i was wondering what does L-MAO means. lmao!
and now im so sick. i cant talk as much as before. my throat itches. :((

2006-11-10T03:27:00.000+08:00

fuack you. i wished i didnt see those stuffs.

considering 1 frigging day to our first ever production. the beans in me just cant seem to get it stern. our sweat. our time. our tears. our hardwork. our persistence. im awaiting for this but yet disagree, i want it to over at the same time. i know. and everybody is tired. this will over soon. :))

thanks to all people who ve sent me warm wishes for my birthday. im contented. im ok with pushing it next week for my celebration. hip hip hooray! thanks for the kisses, hugs, adidas shoes, angie the choice cake, shake hands, groping of my 2 dearest! you all deserve something more than just thank yous definitely.

im hallucinating recently.
the world is changing. she noticed it.
so many questions unsigned.
what is home?
perhaps space is a better place to get a cover.
dont ever ask me why. preaches.

18.

2006-11-07T02:40:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me. happy birthday to mee-eee. happy birthday to me. clap clap clap clap clap crrap crab crlap. lol.

im 18 liaox.

2006-11-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

hohoho. im darn beat. darn darn beat. my life has been dance, work, school, friends. the same repetition. production! deng deng deng deng is next WEEKEND i cant imagine that time passes as fast as your mind could think of anything. lol. i kan chiong liaoz. =(( production faster come. i cant wait man!

next tuesday is an official day that i would be in the second stage of a teenage. cool. 18. i can do alot of things that ive been doing inconspicuously. its my birthday! wee. though i think i cant really celebrate it due to so many things going on now. i would like to celebrate it after 12th nov! =DD

imexcitedimexcitedimexcitedimexcitedimexcited.

halloween

2006-10-28T21:48:00.000+08:00

its saturday night. im at home rotting. can be quite cool. its been so long since ive spend attribute time with my family. its time to get away from busy traffic to a peaceful milieu. happy halloween to everyone! i would like to celebrate halloween and get to taste flesh red across my face. perhaps next year then. =)

try to put yourself in other peoples shoes before reacting in anything. it can be hurtful sometimes to the other party. dont be such an egoistic jerk who only knows how to take care of your own meals. spare a thought for others. is that so difficult?

im tempted to get my motor license on november! wow. i dont care! motor motor motor motor motor. i just cant wait to have one. cool. im loving it. badabababa. i cant wait for birthday. i cant wait for production. i cant wait for holidays back again! shit. dont remind me of school just started yea. i cant wait for alot alot of things. wow! sense of stimulation just brushed across me.

i want another body art. ouch!

i dont trust people by their words. darn fuackin asses.

im back!

2006-10-27T01:24:00.000+08:00

wow. whatever it is, i must really curse that fuacker who spamed my blog. anyway, im happy that i can blog again!

many things had happened for the pass 22 days. cool. still do not know what to blog yet. will blog more.

im starting a new life now.

2006-10-05T01:24:00.000+08:00

the beginning of my day begins with enjoyable suntanning with shir, jen, jess. yep and joyce? lol. some people just dont bring the sun. [nah, its not me] and eating cheezels with sand isnt that bad at all. :) something that also alarms me that momomomomo got love bites at her nehneh! eeyer. i know is not bruise la. asdfgh.

overall my day is like 50 nice. 50 sucky.

why must she give in so much for everything and didnt get that much in return."
why must she be the one who always cheer people up but people just take it as a gift."
why must she abides people and swallow that heavy load stuck in the throat."
why must she always try so hard to exist to be happy when the interior is of otherwise."
why she still couldnt accept her dad."
why she sucks at whatever things."
and why and why.

so many things but left with no remedy. i feel that im so dumb. its always friends. and im till this level that i really feel fatigue is taking a toll on me.

nobody would ever understand. and i miss him.